I’m not a panic attack guy. 

Well, more to the point…I’m the kind of guy that helps others with their mental health concerns, I’m not the guy who gets them himself. 

Until I was.

Here is what happened to me:

Last Saturday there I was swimming in the pool at my Gym, minding my own business, in my lane with one other person. 

Socially Distancing I might add.

When two men decided to park themselves right in the middle of this lane and start chatting. Without a care in the world for anyone else, but themselves. The lane isn’t wide enough for four people to keep at least 1m apart. 

So I got out of that pool, and into the indoor pool a little miffed about the situation, because it was a nice day, and I was in the pool first. 

Then in the indoor pool, the same thing happened. As I was completing some lengths I started to become very aware of my heart rate. I leaned over the side of the pool and counted my pulse…it was 100BPM. That’s ok…but I was still feeling tight…worried…concerned…panicked. 

I was short on breath, and I knew something was wrong. 

I tried another length, to see if I just needed to focus on something else, but I soon realized I needed to get out of the pool. I climbed out as quickly as I could, got to the locker room, and sat there…for about 10mins trying to figure out if I could have a shower or not. 

I sat on the bench with my towel over my head, trying to just slow my breath down as much as possible. I’m no stranger to Meditation and Deep Breathing Exercises, so I just put myself into my world and worked on this. 

After about 10minutes I felt strong enough to have a shower, but I still didn’t feel right. I got dressed, went to the cafe, grabbed a Green Tea, and decided to do some more Meditating in the Cafe. Right there…so I could drive home safely. 

The whole ordeal, until I felt strong enough to drive home, took me about 2 hours to overcome. 

Until I felt myself again…probably more like 48 hours. 

I’ve had two panic attacks before in my life…two I remember very clearly. 

Number One was on a School Trip in the Mountains of Austria. Now I was no stranger to being bullied at school, and this trip was no different. One of my bullies decided to get me in a headlock at altitude…and he was compressing my Adams Apple into my throat…which sent me into a very odd panic attack. My then PE Teacher, Mr. Stallard, who was a very old school PE Teacher was the man who found me, and I half expected him to just tell me to get up and stop being a wimp…but what he did really surprised me. He marched me down to a bench, and gave me a carrier bag to breathe into, and explained that I was over Oxygenated, and I just needed to re-balance my breath. I felt better almost immediately. 

I’m not sure on the science…but it worked. 

Number Two was when I was swimming again in Devon. I was in a Hotel Swimming Pool doing a Scuba Diving Lesson. The pool was not even two meters deep, but I lost my oxygen source when swimming and went into a spin. It all happened very quickly and I don’t remember much else other than it occurring, and recovering very quickly again. I carried on with the lesson and all was ok. 

My most recent panic attack episode has taught me a number of things and I just wanted to share them with you…to hopefully help you if you ever experience them in the future, or know someone who does. 

I’m not a Doctor, if you think you need to see someone about Panic Attacks, then please do. Visit your GP or contact Mind.org.uk. 

This is just a few things I have come to realize, and I’m hoping they might help you in some way too.

The Breath Is Key

The breath really is underestimated by far too many of us. 

“The Quality of our breath expresses our Inner Feelings”

That quote comes from TKV Desikachar, one of the great Yoga teachers. 

I think in the modern age, we take far too much for granted, and our breath is one of those things. Our breath is our life force, and that life force needs to be nurtured, understood but above all used correctly as a tool to help you with what it is you are going through. 

When I was sat on the Bench, in the locker room last week, I knew I needed to reconnect with my breath, and I was aware that my breath was the thing that was mainly out of control when I was having my panic attack. 

If you can spend time being mindful about your breath if you can develop go-to techniques that will help you if you ever end up in a situation like I was in, it will make the whole experience a little less stressful. 

The reason I believe this must be worked upon each day is that it’s important to make sure that when you are at a height of stress, you have the neurological pathway already built so you can just get straight to it. If you’re unsure of what to do…that might make the whole situation a little harder…and you don’t need that at times of panic.

A breathing technique I use is the following:

1. Count how long your inhale takes.

2. Then work on extended your exhale for double the amount of time you inhale took.

3. Then for the next breath…try and make your next inhale longer than the last. 

4. And repeat. 

Controlling your breath will allow you to regain control over yourself, and that is what you need when having a panic attack. 

Talking About Panic Attacks is Important

Even if you have never had one, I urge you to talk about them. Some people are disposed to having Panic Attacks more often than others, however, this doesn’t mean that you aren’t ever going to have one. 

There is no warning. There is no reason. They just are.

This way having a body of experience around the topic is going to help you. I knew full well that I needed to get in control of my breath, not because of my own personal previous experiences with Panic Attacks, but because I have had some very useful conversations around them with my clients. 

It’s not uncommon for myself to train people who deal with anxiety and depression, in fact, most of my clients have had mental health issues in their lives. 

I remember a client coming to me and we spent an hour chatting about an attack she had on the London Underground. We spoke about it, discussed it and I learnt a lot from her about these situations. She was also very happy to discuss with me the therapy sessions she had after this attack happened and the techniques that she was being recommended to use. 

That’s how I knew that controlling my breath in the situation I found myself in was the way to keep everything under control. 

My client told me. 

Now if I had never had that conversation with her, I may have never realised this, as my body was starting to panic. I was able to think of her in this situation and it wholeheartedly helped me. 

Another reason for talking about it is useful is because they are a lot more common than you think they are. If you get panic attacks, you aren’t broken or need fixing. You are just reacting to the world around you. I put a post up earlier this week about my experience and the number of people who reached out to me to tell me that they get them semi-regularly and that it’s something they deal with showed me that I wasn’t in any great existential crisis. I was just being a human being reacting to my surroundings which I found too stressful at that time. 

There was a comfort in knowing some of my closest friends have them too, and that hopefully they too can now come to me if they need a chat about the situation because we have common ground there. 

You Never Know When It Will Strike

When I look back on the last 12 months of my life, I am aware, at a cerebral level, it has been stressful. Here’s a list:

• Built a Visa Application for Migration to Australia.

• Submitted Visa Application, and found out I wouldn’t be in Australia until it was confirmed, potentially 24 months away.

• Had to realize that I would be spending X amount of time away from my fiancee as she had to head home to Australia for work. 

• Coronavirus shutting my business down and having to rebuild.

• Lockdown. 

• Dealing with close friends and relatives who caught Covid-19.

• Moving out of my Cottage for safety as my fiancee was working in East London as a Paramedic, and I have a heart condition.

• Moving back to my Cottage for a couple of weeks until I said goodbye to my fiancee.

• Moving back out of the Cottage as our tenancy was over, and packing up our house to go to Australia.

• Saying goodbye to my fiancee until I get my Visa.

• Adapting to living with my parents again.

• Running a business through all of this.

• Having Surgery.

• Losing Furlough money and not being able to get any additional Government help.

Now if a client gave me that list I would totally understand that their life has been very stressful, and it’s going to take a toll on them.

But I never felt like it was taking a toll on me. I just knuckled down and carried on. I just see it all as part of the process. Everything is just another step forward to my ultimate goal of being happy and living my best life with my future bride and the family we want to build.

But stress is a funny thing. Recently I have had some health issues I have been having to figure out all adding more stress to my life. 

The thing is with stress, is often times you aren’t aware of the toll it is taking on you until something more drastic comes out of nowhere. Your body is very effective at dealing with it in the moment, and then when the dust settles, things start to go wrong. 

This is why a panic attack can come out of nowhere. You will never know when it will strike, and you could very much be in a situation that you find very normal. 

If you do have a Panic Attack that is related to stress, which not all of them are, you may well experience that Panic Attack after a lot of the things that are stressing you out have calmed down. 

There seemed to be no direct reason I experienced mine. There was no trigger relating to the amount of stress I have been under. 

It just was.

They Can Effect Anyone

As I said in the introduction. I’m not the kind of guy who gets panic attacks. 

And then I was. 

There are no health markers that cause them, and they aren’t directly related to any Mental Health issues.

They just are sometimes. 

Like I’ve mentioned time and time again in this article, I would not consider myself as someone who would get a Panic Attack. There is no order to who suffers from Mental Health issues, it doesn’t discriminate against certain people over others, it just is.

It Takes Longer To Recover Than You Think It Might

I was really surprised that even 24 hours after my attack, I was still a little bit fragile. I didn’t feel myself. In the immediate aftermath, I expected to feel a little bit fragile, and that is why I continued to meditate once I had made my initial recovery. 

But even the Sunday following, I was still unsettled. 

Talking about it with others certainly helped me get back to feeling to myself, and I think that is a very important step in recovering. Sharing your experience and discussing it through with more and more people, as it helps 

More People Have Panic Attacks Than You Think

When I shared my experience I couldn’t believe that the very first person I spoke to, the lady making my Green Tea at the Gym, said that she gets them very often too. 

Then when I shared my story wider via Instagram, I got DMs and WhatsApp Messages from followers and clients all telling me that they go through them too. 

It really encouraged me. 

It allowed me to not feel ashamed.

In fact, I was overwhelmed with the love and compassion I received from others, some complete strangers, telling me to give them a call or to chat with them if I needed it. 

Knowing that they are more commonplace than I originally thought was a comfort to me, it was nice to know that what I went through is something that I can use to help me empathize with someone else and that there's nothing inherently wrong with me…we all have moments of fragility.

And that’s ok.

If you have any questions or want to discuss anything about Panic Attacks, I will be more than happy to help.

I’m a Personal Trainer, not a Doctor or qualified Mental Health Worker, but it’s always great to chat. 

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Coach Adam