Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
We all hate that view, right? Well hopefully not anymore.
This week I spent a long time writing a book called Your Scale Strategy for my Online Clients on The Strong and Confident Program, and it got me to thinking that this information needs to be more “out there”.
Too many people are losing their desire, goals, and success because of two massive issues with the Scale.
They do not know how it works
They do not know how to make it work
My book is called Your Scale Strategy, and I wanted to share my strategy from it, to hopefully help you understand how to make the Scale work in a much better way for you.
Table of Contents for: Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
My aim is to give you a strategy for the Scale. This is what we will cover:
We will discuss your perspective of the scale
We will discuss the science of the scale
We will discuss A Workable Plan for you to move forward
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
Before we get into it though let show you what effect this Strategy has had on my client. Case Studies are great because they demonstrate to you that this works for people like you. People who are struggling, people who need real answers to real results, and people who are figuring it out. Slowly by surely.
Let’s take my client, Beverley. Beverley has had limiting beliefs about her weight all her life. She is aware it makes her feel very unhappy, and actively avoids being in photos or videos with friends and family. Bev made a commitment to me to implement this Strategy as it is laid out in my book for at least 30 days. She went from not knowing what her weight was for over 2 years to adopt this plan and is now being consistent in both her behaviors and her fitness regime.
She's incredible. I’m so damn proud of her. But more importantly, she is proud of herself.
Here is what she found in 14 days in terms of her scale weight:
DAY 1 (15 stone 6lbs) and DAY 14 (15 stone 4lbs)
Beverley said the following two weeks in:
“To go from never knowing my weight because of what I thought it meant to me, the judgement that was wrapped up in the number and the ideas of self-disappointment, lack of confidence and constantly feeling like a failure…to now not caring what the scale says. Literally accepting it is just a number, and one that will mess with your head if you let it has been such a huge weight off my shoulders. For years knowing there was something about me I couldn’t confront because of the shame attached to it, meant I wasn’t willing to admit I was ashamed of myself. The scale represented that. But now…after implementing this strategy, it's all gone. All the worry and the angst. The number is just that, a number. Of course, I have goals I want to reach, but knowing I am doing the work each day to ensure that one day in the future it will take care of itself and that I have to be patient, respectful and understand truly how it works is life-changing. I’m no longer scared of the scale. I’m no longer ashamed”
I also made a video all about Beverly’s journey. There are two parts, and in it I discuss the ups and downs of this strategy and what she went through when trying to heal her relationship with the scale.
You can watch that here:
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
Your Perspective of the Scale
I love this meme. Perspective is everything. Is the cup half-full or half-empty? I’m sure you know the “correct” answer to that but this can be so hard to implement in terms of weight loss.
Let's look at your previous unsuccessful journey in terms of weight loss.
You decided to take action — gym, slimming club, eating “clean”
You lost a few lbs
You had a social event you couldn’t avoid
Stepped on the scale again
Gained a few lbs
Thought this will never work
Gave up
Felt awful
Realized this “healthy” ‘thing was never for you
You might do this a few times over…in the course of a month or two…but eventually steps 7, 8, and 9 are the winners. Sound familiar?
Before you shoot me just hear me out. Please.
I am not stalking you. I promise. I’m not a fortune teller (although I did used to be a Magician at the biggest Toy Store in the World — Hamleys) but I promise you I am not reading your mind.
Want to know how I know you have done this time and time again?
Because you are normal. Because I have seen it happen with 99.99999% of the population.
But you think its just you. You think you are the slightly broken one…when you are not. When you are just perfectly normal. Its all about perspective. When you realise that everyone is going through the same struggle as you, when everyone is not actually losing 60lbs every three months, and they are in truth trading lbs day in and day out, up and down every day until over a long period of time they reach a goal (a much smaller goal than they initially thought) then you realise that you aren’t the problem.
The system might be.
Here is a thought:
Maybe the Diet failed you, you didn’t fail at the diet.
Know how I know this? Traditional restrictive diets fail everyone.
And see that shift in perspective, when you start seeing it change thus…you can begin to see that actually what you want is out there. Your goals are achievable.
SUMMARY: Perspective is really important when it comes to the scale. You need perspective with what is relaistic with yourself compared to what you see on Social Media, and you need perspective with the journey as well.
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
The Self Perspective: Empathy
In terms of your perspective, you also need to embrace this word. You need to give yourself a hug a lot more often. In your story of previous unsuccessful attempts, between 6 and 7
6. Thought this will never work
7. Gave up
You need a 6.5: Empathy.
In your 10 point story, you never gave yourself a moment to reflect. The 10 point story happens over a period of time. A one-off example might not be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, but this is a big picture example.
However, I am willing to bet you are doing the same thing not only every time a new diet fails you…but:
Every time you have “bad” food.
Every time you drink some wine.
Every time you chose to go out as opposed to the Gym.
Every time you step on and off the scale.
And over time it all accumulates to you stopping, losing motivation and just wishing it was all a hell of a lot easier.
That number you see, without empathy and love, is a judgement. It's your High School bully laughing at you, it's your greatest fears about how you look and how sexy you feel. It’s a reminder of you being a “loser”, not a winner. It’s a judgement on the food you ate, the wine you had, and the fact you slept in as oppose to work out.
It’s a judgement of your own self-talk saying: “You are useless. Why are you even trying”
And that is all you hear in yourself. You don’t take into account all the other factors that are at play in your ability to adhere to a Calorie Deficit. Things like:
How much sleep you are able to get?
Your personal Finances?
The support of your friends and family?
Your accessibility to be able to exercise?
How stressed you are?
How your mood is?
These few factors alone will have a huge impact on your Calorie Deficit and therefore the number you see staring back at you.
Your whole perspective on the scale is imaginative. And that's not your fault. It’s the fault of the Fitness Industry, The Media, I’m sure you are even thinking that it could be your Mum’s fault or your Partners.
But looking for fault isn’t going to help anyone. You need to change your entire outlook. And when you do, you will be able to treat yourself with the empathy you deserve.
SUMMARY: Empathy is your number one priority when it comes to healing your relationship with the scale. You need to realsie your factors in your life that will impact how adherent to a Calorie Deficit you can actually be, and allow the results you track from that Calorie Deficit to allow for these factors.
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
The Outside Perspective: Comparison
One of my favourite quotes is:
“Comparison is the death of joy”
And it is quite simply because we can’t compare evenly. You spend your life comparing people instantly on Social Media, but the issue with these platforms is they pander to your confirmation bias.
You only see people who have:
Been Succesful
You don’t notice all the people struggling, all the other people not making it…all your brain sees is the successful ones.
My best example of this from my life is what I call “London Underground is Ruining My Life”.
It’s storytime.
Now when I was a young buck at Drama School I got my own flat in London in my third year. Until that point, I didn’t need to spread my wings and fly. But in Third Year enough was enough. And my parents and I managed to afford a flatshare for myself. Of course, this came with the usual expectation of a 21-year-old living in London wanting to live the high life as an “up and coming actor” So obviously I wanted to seduce the women. Luckily I had one who actually said “Yes”.
We had an enjoyable evening. And then I had to spend the next two weeks riding on the tube. And the tube had changed. I promise you. For those not familiar with the London Underground…there is a LOT and I mean a LOT of billboard adverts on the tube.
And I promise you, hand on heart, every single advert, that evening henceforth, was for some sort of Pregnancy thing.
Whether it was Well Woman Vitabiotics, Clear Blue Pregnancy Testing, or even an advert for a West End Show…every advert was about pregnancy.
All 16,000+ of them.
This is a prime example of Confirmation Bias. My world ie: my brain was showing me my fear. All I was looking for was things to back up my own silly hypothesis that I was about to become a Dad.
…
And when you are on Social Media this is what your brain is doing. It is only finding things you want it to find…to confirm your preexisting thoughts about yourself.
To conquer the scale, you must realize that you are normal. You are like 99.9% of the world out there. That is why you have got this far into this article because it resonates with you…and you are not alone.
For example, we are in the midst of an “obesity crisis”. This literally tells you that more people in the world are struggling with this than are succeeding.
So embrace your normality. Understand everyone is in the same boat and the minority is what you believe to be the majority. From there…you can begin to see the wins you are achieving, as opposed to only Stop comparing your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 14.
Just focus on your journey, your progress, and how far you are coming.
SUMMARY: When we look at ourselves through the prism of comparison we will only ever compare to someone who is doing better than us. We never look down, only up. The more you compare the more your brain will be conditioned to only seeing who is doing better than you, not the reality of society at large.
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
The Science of the Scale
So you have spent the majority of your life being all consumed by this little square block on your bathroom floor, and in truth…you know very very little about what makes up that number.
Which when you think about it…it's crazy.
You don’t really know what it represents, you don’t know what makes up that number and you don’t know all the factors involved in what it says and why it says it.
So let me break it down for you:
The human body as weight is made up of Bone, Organs, Muscle and Fat, and averagely this is split thus:
Bone: Men: 15%; Women: 10%
Muscle: Men: 45%; Women: 37%
Organs: Men and Women: 25%
Fat: Men 15%; Women 28%
These are estimates as its really hard to know the true figures, and we will never know our actual Body Fat Percentage unless we have an Autopsy…which is really inconvenient. Your Body Fat Percentage may well be higher than the average…but its never 100% of what you are.
That's really important to remember.
This is what should strike you the most from those figures:
Your body really isn't made up of much Fat at all…With the Body Fat Percentage figure, you must remember you cannot get to 0% Body Fat as you will die, and it is extremely unlikely you will ever get to >8% Body Fat (Men) and >21% Body Fat (Women) unless you become an Athlete. So what we can realistically effect in terms of Body Fat Percentage is about 8% Body Fat (Female) and 7% Body Fat (Male) based on the above averages. If you carry more Body Fat, this figure will be increased but can be affected more easily.
Your Muscle is Heavy…you have more muscle than you think you do. And Muscle is really hard to lose and really hard to gain. We lose about 3–5% of our Muscle Mass per decade over the age of 30 unless we train to keep it. We can gain muscle at a rate of 0.5lb per week. But even that is rare and takes extreme dedication.
Your weight gain over time isn't likely to be muscle gain. You might have heard that muscle weighs less than fat, which isn’t true.
What weighs more? A tonne of feathers? Or a tonne of bricks?
They are exactly the same weight, and the same is true for 1lb of fat and 1lb of muscle. They both weigh one pound.
Muscle takes up less space over a bone and therefore you can fit more of it onto the space you have available.
Muscle is incredibly hard to build - it's a little easier if you are newer to training but the longer you have been strength training, the longer it takes to build.
In the early days, some of your weight gains might be due to the muscle being built, but if your weight is increasing, and you are in a Calorie Deficit, past the three-month mark as a new gym goer, then it will be due to a caloric surplus and is likely to be fat gain, not muscle gain.
Time for a little PSA.
If you have a Trainer that is telling you, past these parameters, that your weight gain is because you are getting stronger and that it's not due to your Caloric Intake, then you need to get rid of your trainer and hire a better Coach.
I'm sure you have heard that scale weight is affected by a number of factors...and it is. These are:
Water retention from Salt in your diet
Water retention from lifting weights
You need to poop
You ate more yesterday than usual
You had more Carbohydrates than normal in your diet yesterday
Your Menstrual Cycle
This means that the Scale will go up and down like a rollercoaster - even if you are in a deficit.
But it is only water - I promise you. For example, if you eat 1g of Carbohydrates your body absorbs 3g of Water. This si why when you go on a “Low Carb” Diet you lose Scale Weight very quickly. You are indeed losing water - not actual Body Fat.
I recently did a 60 Day weight loss challenge. I lost 4.1kgs in about 60 days and I decided to weigh myself every day for the last 30 days so I could show you what it really looks like:
What a rollercoaster!
Looking at that you can see just how much scale weight fluctuates. There are peaks and whooshes everywhere, and in fact, I don’t think it whooshed on repetitive days once.
Added to that, I wasn’t in a deficit every day either, and the peaks were a lot harder to stomach on the days after I knew I wasn’t in a Deficit.
Even though I knew I wasn’t actually gaining weight, I had more than likely eaten more carbohydrates, it still felt incongruent to my goal, to lose weight.
I knew deep down the result would come provided I was in a Calorie Deficit for a consistent (25/30 days) period of time. I also only managed to make this a success, because I gave it enough time to succeed.
Even after consecutive days of the scale going up, I didn’t give up and therefore allowed myself to see the success I deserved from the work I was putting into it.
I also adopted the following mantra, which I highly recommend you follow:
“All you have to do is get back on track, and you haven’t failed”
I have spent the first half of this article educating you on the Scale - so that you can take all of this knowledge into implementing a plan to help you heal your relationship with the scale.
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Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
So What Is Your Plan for the Scale?
This is your plan. Your schedule is really important, and it has to be easy to follow, otherwise, you won’t continue to do it.
You are going to weigh yourself daily. Every single day.
This study tells you why: HOW WEIGHING YOURSELF MORE REGUARLY WILL KEEP YOUR WEIGHT OFF
But allow me to pull out one key conclusion of the study:
“Findings from the registry suggest six key strategies for long-term success at weight loss: 1) engaging in high levels of physical activity; 2) eating a diet that is low in calories and fat; 3) eating breakfast; 4) self-monitoring weight on a regular basis; 5) maintaining a consistent eating pattern; and 6) catching “slips” before they turn into larger regains”
All of these points are really very important. Although it can be argued you do not need to eat breakfast in order to lose weight as all you need is a caloric deficit, although in this study when they refer to breakfast they refer to cereal (which surprised me!), it doesn’t define what kind at all — cereal is a very broad term, and fruit. It would be my suspicion that it’s due to an increase in Fibre in their diet which is helping here.
Added to that this Study took a cohort of people, and got them to weigh themselves over a 51 week period reducing the frequency of weighing as time went on. The three groups were split thus:
High/Consistent equalling 6 days/week of weighing over 51 weeks
Moderate/Declined equalling 4-5 days/week of weighing and then a gradual decline to 2 days/week over time.
Minimal/Declined equalling 5-6 days/week until Week 33 and then 0 days/week thereafter.
The results were:
“The high/consistent group achieved greater weight loss than either the moderate/declined and minimal/declined groups at 6 months and 12 months, respectively. The high/consistent group had a greater mean number days per week of adherence to calorie intake goal or step goal but not higher than the moderate/declined group.”
And they concluded:
“This is the first study to reveal distinct temporal patterns of self-weighing behavior. The majority of participants were able to sustain a habit of daily self-weighing with regular self-weighing leading to weight loss and maintenance as well as adherence to energy intake and step goals”
The key takeaway here is that weighing yourself every day leads to better adherence to the behaviors that create weight loss: Calorie Deficit and Step Targets to name a couple.
I need to interject here, also. You can lose weight as well if you only weigh yourself once a day. But you need to think of weighing yourself daily as Data collection - not a judgement on what you are doing each day.
The more data you collect, the more informed a decision you can make about what is happening.
You also need to control the variance that can effect the scale reading as much as possible.
So. in order to do that this is your schedule
Wake Up
Go to the toilet
Weigh yourself
Then eat your breakfast / Drink your Tea or Coffee
Always try and weigh yourself in this manner each and every morning.
Before we go any further please read the following:
Don’t get me wrong, there is a cost to every behavior we partake in as humans, and although I am in favor of weighing ourselves daily, I am not blind to the fact it can have negative repercussions too. If you have ever suffered from an Eating Disorder, and/or Mental Health Issues then using the scale in this way should be discussed with your Doctor and your Medical Team.
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
Stop Playing The Scale Lottery
Weighing yourself once a week, once a month or less than this is like playing the lottery.
You will lose.
You are shooting in the dark. You aren’t collecting enough data.
Blindly hoping you get a down day…as opposed to an up day with your weight fluctuations. Even if you hit a down day 50% of the time…the other 50% will be the percentage you focus on…the percentage you remember and essentially the one that will stop you in your tracks.
You need regularity by weighing yourself daily. Weighing yourself daily does mean that you will have to see the number go up - but that’s okay - because you aren’t gaining body fat.
This study took 29 men and made them eat 40% above their Maintenance Calories, which was about 1200-1500kcals extra a day. Over the 8 week period, they gained 9lbs of fat, equivalent to 0.16lbs a day.
Added to that another study took participants and made them eat 1000kcal/day above their maintenance for one week, which lead to a scale weight gain of 1kg for the whole week. This kilogram was then split up into two sections - half of it was muscle glycogen, and the other half was body fat - which means they gained 71g of body weight a day.
This is why we must be very careful about how you look at and analyse the scale data you collect.
With my clients I implement this:
We compare every two weeks. Not every 2 days. Not every 7 days. Not every 10 days.
14 Days. And it’s a lot longer than you think it is.
There is a reason the studies I have spoken about in this article track people for 51 weeks - because weight loss takes time.
Or if you are overly concerned with your Menstrual Cycle and you know that affects your adherence to a Calorie Deficit you can use this model:
And again, we work on a 14-day schedule of comparison.
If you aren’t seeing the results you are happy with you will then need to analyze what you have been doing and amend one of these factors:
Track your Calories more accurately
Increase your NEAT
Increase your Sleep
Increase your Hydration
Increase your adherence to the Five Awesome Rules For Life:
Increase your Caloric Deficit
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Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
Metabolic Adaptation
One last thing we need to be aware of in the plan for your progress is Metabolic Adaptation. As you lose weight your Caloric needs will change.
Smaller bodies need fewer calories.
Therefore make sure you go back to the Calorie Calculator every two months and if you have made progress re-evaluate your numbers and see what it says. The change might not be huge, but it will be good to make sure that you are keeping a check on what your body needs and that changes over time.
You can mitigate the effects of metabolic adaption by making sure when you lose weight you continue to strength train with the goal of preserving muscle mass - and eating enough Protein each day.
Grab My Calorie Calculator Right Here <<< I will email it straight to you
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
And That’s It…
It is my belief that you shouldn’t use scale weight as a determinate of who you are unless you know everything there is to know about the Scale. I hope this book has opened your eyes to what goes into the Scale and why it can be a very flippant and testing thing to use to mark your progress and who you are.
So remember these Take-Aways:
You have to gain a better perspective on what the scale is and how weight works otherwise you will lose motivation really quickly.
99.99999% of people find this really hard and struggle to maintain motivation because of how their perspective is.
Give yourself more time - don’t give up before you see your success from your consistency.
One day of a spike isn’t actually fat gain
Get away from the Prison of Time — allow yourself the time this needs and deserves, so you can empathize with your humanity and the stresses of normal life whilst losing weight
Set a sensible Goal Weight and remember that is based around being active as well - and download my Calorie Calculator to make sure you do that.
Weigh yourself Daily this will keep you accountable.
Stop playing the Scale Lottery.
Track your progress every two weeks and be disciplined in this as it will tell you the real picture.
Do You Have Scale Anxiety? Improve Your Relationship With The Scale
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