Is Emotional Eating Your Biggest Problem For Fat Loss?
I normally start an Article like this with a funny meme.
You know, a picture of Joey from Friends eating Pizza with a humorous caption to the effect of: “It's not my fault I can’t lose weight…it's my emotions”
But actually I was quite surprised by what I saw when I typed into Google:
“Emotional Eating Memes” because what actually showed up was “Stress Eating Memes”
And I think that is really what is going on with a lot of Emotional Eating.
In this article we will discuss the following:
Is emotional eating something that affects only me?
What is emotional eating and why does it occur?
How do you begin to change your behaviour with emotional eating?
Can I lose weight whilst working on my emotional eating?
Conclusion
Before we go any further I need to run a few disclaimers. I’m a very experienced Personal Trainer in the field of Female Fat Loss.
I am not a Psychotherapist, Eating Disorder Clinician or Doctor of any kind. If you are currently suffering from an Eating Disorder or feel like you might have an Eating Disorder akin to anything like Bullemia, Purging, Anorexia Nervosa or any other kind of Disordered Eating then please contact your GP immediately, or contact the fantastic Charity BEAT: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
Is Emotional Eating something that affects only me?
Many of my clients think that their emotional eating is significant to them, that they are the only person who turns to a Glass of Wine or a Bar of Chocolate to help them feel better about themselves.
And I’m sure you think that about yourself too.
But here's a thought…what if it is more normal than you originally thought? What if more women than you knew were actually emotional eaters…it's comforting right? That you're not alone. That you're not broken. That it's not something that is only wrong with you.
People find a lot more comfort in the knowledge that there is a sense of “normality in numbers”. When a client first comes to my Gym and starts working with me, they are normally nervous as hell…until I tell them that actually everyone is nervous. Everyone in this building is nervous, which is why they are here in the first place. All my clients are scared their first time, but they got through it…and you will too. They then relax, they calm down. It's now not “just them”. They are now not singled out in their minds. Social Psychologist Robert Cialdini in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion says the following:
“Whether the question is what to do with an empty popcorn box in a movie theater, how fast to drive on a certain stretch of highway, or how to eat the chicken at a dinner party, the actions of those around us will be important in defining the answer.”
We find great comfort in following the crowd. But we must always know that the crowd exists first. When you type “Emotional Eating” into Google you get About 397,000,000 results (0.44 seconds).
It's a popular topic. You aren’t alone and it's certainly not the case that you are broken.
In short, …it is a normal behaviour pattern [1].
What is emotional eating and why does it occur?
I couldn’t write a whole article without a meme now, could I?
Emotional Eating is closely related to Binge Eating, however, Binge Eating is classed as an Eating Disorder, and Emotional Eating is not classed as an Eating Disorder due to the fact that as discussed above, we all do it.
I’ve eaten chocolate to feel better, I’ve got horribly drunk after I split up with an Ex and I have also eaten Pizza until my heart is content because something wasn’t feeling right inside of me.
You are jumping straight to the “Eating”And not looking at the “Emotional” with enough scrutiny.
The Pizza didn’t help. Nor did the Alcohol. Nor did the Chocolate.
The reason? The eating wasn’t the reason I needed comfort. The emotion was.
You will go through an emotional moment and then move towards an item of highly palatable, calorific food or drink. We all do it.
How Do You Define Binge Eating? <<< Read my article on how to understand if you are Binge Eating…
What we don’t all do however is look at the reason why we went to the food. You jump straight to the food being the problem because it doesn't align with the physical goals you have set for ourself.
You are jumping straight to the “Eating”, and not looking at the “Emotional” with enough scrutiny.
As a Coach I’m guilty of this as well. In the past, I have only focussed on the “Eating”. Clients tell me that they want to lose weight, and I will jump straight to the calories, without thinking about their Emotional state soon enough, or putting in enough measures to help them make sure that they are working on their emotional environment and behaviour as much as their physical one.
According to HelpGuide.org [2], these are the triggers that cause Emotional Eating:
Stress
Stuffing emotions
Boredom or feelings of emptiness
Childhood habits
Social influences
Then these triggers work themselves into the following cycle:
Its a continuum. It's a cycle that you cannot work yourself away from because you keep returning to the places that the triggers exist, and then you reach out for the food that comforts you.
Emotional Eating also presents very differently physiologically. You get hungry far quicker than normal, it is associated with specific cravings, you then eat quite mindlessly (watching television or a film, flicking through Social Media etc), you are never satisfied once the moment is over, and you experience feelings of guilt, shame and powerlessness when you experience it.
These are all very different to the feeling of physical hunger, which you can be satiated from, it is controlled by hormones (Grehlin and Leptin), it can be held off, you will eat a wider variety of food and you don’t experience such intense or any self-loathing after a meal that is regulated and makes sense to you in the traditional sense.
Its not all negative either. We can also eat emotionally to reward ourselves. Ever gone out for a Cocktail because you got a promotion at work? Or landed a bonus and celebrated with a bottle of bubbly?
These are behaviours that also constitute Emotional Eating.
How do you begin to change your behaviour with emotional eating?
With emotional eating, you must start focussing more on the “Emotional”. You need to develop your ability and practice your ability to manage your Emotional Wellbeing and state.
The reason you Emotionally Eat is not because of your genetics, your physiology or the fact there is something wrong or unfixable about you.
Its because you are stressed and fearful of what is happening to you.
“Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.” — Bertrand Russell
Now there are times that Emotional Eating is totally understandable and you should treat yourself with empathy when it happens. Those moments will be subjective to you.
But you must also develop two other things to get a handle on it.
Emotional Resilience and better coping strategies for when you are stressed.
We can do this by [3]:
Selecting self-efficacy: take ownership of the problem that is causing disbalance in your life, don’t run from it, as you are likely to run towards a less favoured behaviour.
2. Emphasise Empathy: allow yourself to understand what is happening to you and treat yourself with compassion
3. Practising Patience: you can teach yourself to be mindful in difficult situations, and chose to move away from the stressful moment. Give yourself time and space to comprehend what you are going through.
4. Create Capacity: we can choose these moments to work upon our discipline and desired behaviours rather than turn to the destructive behaviour you are trying to move away from
5. Perceiving Possibilities: from all moments of stress and emotional upheaval, there is always an outcome that can be positive. It might be hard to find, but if you can visualise it, and think upon the positive then you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
How Do You Deal with Stress?
There are many positive behaviours you can implement to help you cope with stress in a much more positive way…rather than returning to what you want to conquer.
There are many different types of stress, and each one and each person will need a different response to the stress they are feeling.
But we know the following will help you immensely:
Eat in a more nutritious manner
I’m not saying “eat better” or “eat good foods” or “avoid good foods”. I am saying eat nutritiously. Sometimes that will mean eat a Cookie, a Donut or have an Espresso Martini. But it also means building your plates with protein and vegetables, drinking 3 litres of water a day, make positive choices that align with your goals both physically, emotionally and mentally.
2. Exercise
Exercise is one very important aspect of dealing with stress. Whether that is hit the gym and follow a good Resistance Programme (Grab a Free Month of Workouts right here: Free Month of the Be Confident, Be Strong Programme) or go for a Swim, Jog, Yoga or even just a 10 minute walk. Exercise reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators. [4]
Find out why Resistance Training is great for Fat Loss right here: What is the most important thing for Fat Loss…Resistance Training or a Calorie Deficit?
3. Sleep
Sleep is the most powerful tool in your ability to control stress. You need to be getting 7–8 hours a night. When we sleep we allow our brain to process the day you have just experienced and it will give you much better willpower for the day ahead. Think of sleep not just as a restful time to recover from the day, but time to prepare yourself for the day ahead — like warming up before you exercise. Also, make sure you are creating a good sleep environment for yourself. For example, you should limit caffeine at least 8 hours before you sleep, you should reduce screen time as much as possible, and if you have to be on your phone then use your Night Shift Filter to limit your Blue Light exposure (I have mine on all day every day — and its great!)
If you need help sleeping try listening to one of my Sleep Stories:
4. Meditation
Meditation and deep breathing is also an extremely powerful way to manage your stress. A lot of people give up on Meditation as they believe that they should magically be able to quieten their mind naturally. But it takes practice and is something just like fitness that needs to be worked upon. Also by engaging in Deep Breathing you connect with your Parasympathetic Nervous system which produces a relaxing effect [5]. You can also Meditate anywhere in the world, at any time in your life. it doesn’t have to be at Sunrise on a Beach or listening to Birdsong. Although being in Nature is one of the most relaxing things as humans we can do. You can do it on the Tube, or as you are walking. Try some of my 10-minute walking meditations and see how you get on:
5. Connect with others
By connecting with others and talking things through with your friends will help you solve problems and find the answers you need to figure out what is stressing you out. Plus its comforting to talk to those you are close to. Don’t text them. Speak to them or see them in person. Texting is not an appropriate human connection to help with your stress levels.
6. Give to Charity
There are few things higher up that we can do to improve our sense of self-worth than give to charity. When you help someone else, it makes you feel good, really good, and it helps put your problems into perspective a little more.
Can I Lose Weight Whilst Working on my Emotional Eating?
Let me be clear from the off; anyone can lose weight — all you need is Calorie Deficit:
However, if you are aware that you struggle immensely with Emotional Eating, then a calorie deficit will be an extremely hard thing for you to stick to, as you will constantly be stressing yourself out.
Lets run this through an example:
You have started a new diet and exercise programme and are feeling good for the first few days. You have a little bit of a busy day at work, and feel a bit let down by your colleagues. They haven’t done anything wrong per se, but they just didn’t feel supported. Your boss has hit you with a deadline, and although achievable…in truth its the last thing you want to do right now.
You get home and try to talk to your husband or boyfriend about it. He's only half interested, can’t wrap his head around your point of view and just says something like:
“Well just work hard and you will get it all done. Don’t worry about it”
(Men? Am I rite?)
It brings back all the feelings from your day, from your Boss and your colleagues and you then think about dinner. Feeling a bit low, you notice the Pizza in the freezer rather than the Meal Prep you made.
Pizza it is. You indulge in it. You begin to realise what you did and how that behaviour doesn’t match your new “healthy” regime. However, its ok because you know you are allowed flexibility in what you eat — no ones should be that strict on their diet.
However, you still seem hungry after the pizza. It's not quite done its job. You're not satisfied because you need emotional satisfaction, not physical satisfaction.
There’s Ben and Jerry’s in the fridge…
You get to bed. Sleep not as well as you would like, due to the stress from work, and as you wake in the morning you realise the calories you ate last night exceeded your deficit for the whole week. You now start to feel down on yourself again, and despite knowing all you have to do is follow the Four Step F*** It Philosophy as detailed thus:
STEP 1: Acknowledge you went off plan and why.
STEP 2: Say F*** It.
STEP 3: Draw a line under it.
STEP 4: Move on.
You can’t shake the feeling that you have now let yourself down. You feel your stress levels rising again. Work is just as stressful as before and it's now Karens Birthday. There's Krispy Kremes in the office. One or two won’t hurt, and you need it. You’re feeling low again.
And then the stress increases again because you aren’t matching your Diet to your desired behaviours.
And it goes on and on and on. Until you eventually give up on your diet, give up on your exercise and your goals seem further away than ever.
My point here is that you can’t build a house on a foundation of sand and with three walls. A Calorie Deficit is really simple. But it doesn’t mean it is easy, and to attempt to achieve one in order to lose weight and get a bit “healthier” is going to be extremely hard if you aren’t willing to work first on improving your relationship with food.
You can’t build a house on a foundation of sand and with three walls. Your relationship with food must be postivie before attmepting a Calorie Deficit.
You need to first learn to be able to draw a line right under it and truly move on. When you can achieve that as a habit, without guilt attachment and without you feeling like you are a failure, then you will find being in a Calorie Deficit so much easier.
In the midst of all of this to you will have to learn how to balance your hormones to your expectations. I find that my clients eat a little more during certain times of their cycle and that they need more flexibility in those moments. This is another part of your diet you will need to fully comprehend and understand to help you manage your stress a lot better, and therefore your relationship with food.
How Does Your Menstrual Cycle Effect Fitness and Fat Loss? <<< Read my article on this topic right here
Conclusion
Emotional Eating is a normal, human thing to do. We all Eat Emotionally and this can be both in negative moments of our life and positive moments of our life. Understanding this is crucial because it shows that your behaviour of emotional eating is standard practice and that you aren’t “broken” or “need fixing”
A lot of negative Emotional Eating comes from being in as Stressed state. When the hormone Cortisol and Adrenaline are running rampant in your body, you are much more likely to indulge in foods that do not match the behaviours you want to have in order to reach your goals.
If Emotional Eating is a particularly prevalent behaviour in your relationship with food you need to focus your efforts in the Emotional part of the equation. Not the Eating part of the equation.
Look at the things in your life that are causing you high stress and learn better ways to manage that. Through better nutrition, Exercise, Meditation, Connection with others, giving to Charity and getting out into nature.
It is possible to lose weight whilst being an emotional eater. But it is making your journey a hell of a lot harder. Try and work on your relationship with food before you engage with a Calorie Deficit as fixing your relationship with food will make the weight loss journey more successful and more sustainable.
Above all remember the following: You are not alone, and although this all seems quite daunting, you can totally do it. I know you can. And I believe in you more than you probably believe in yourself. If you got this far through the article, this is clearly something you want to understand more and work upon…and you are already ahead of 90% of the people who have read this.
Stop worrying about the food. Start fixing your stress levels and you’ll do just fine.
Did you find this useful?
You can Join The Fitness Collective which is my Membership Group. In there I give Monthly Updates, Live Q and A’s, I provide you with new workouts each and every month, and write guidance on your fitness journey.
To find out more about The Fitness Collective you can click here: The Fitness Collective
Please share this with your friends and anyone else you may know who is worried about training in a gym, and feel free to follow me using the links below…
And if you want to get updates on when I publish new articles, publish new podcasts or anything else then please remember to sign up below
And above all remember this…for as long as you are trying your best no one can ask for more from you.
Coach Adam
References:
Medainc.org. 2020. [online] Available at: <https://www.medainc.org/binge-eating-vs-emotional-eating-whats-the-difference/> [Accessed 4 May 2020].
HelpGuide.org. 2020. Emotional Eating And How To Stop It. [online] Available at: <https://www.helpguide.org/articles/diets/emotional-eating.htm> [Accessed 4 May 2020].
Bogdanos, M., 2020. 5 Steps To Help Build Emotional Resilience. [online] World of Psychology. Available at: <https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-steps-to-help-build-emotional-resilience/> [Accessed 4 May 2020].
Publishing, H., 2020. Exercising To Relax — Harvard Health. [online] Harvard Health. Available at: <https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/exercising-to-relax> [Accessed 4 May 2020].
André, C., 2020. Proper Breathing Brings Better Health. [online] Scientific American. Available at: <https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/proper-breathing-brings-better-health/> [Accessed 4 May 2020].